Justified or Cruel?

[chelleemerald]

Okay, I'm looking for opinion on this situation I find myself in. Even friends are divided in their opinion of my actions and I feel so very in the wrong.

The Past
- In 1999, I started liking a new guy at school. We became good friends. Talked a lot.
- 2000, I ask him out, he says Yes, but after a week of leading me on, he says it's not working and that he likes my best friend instead.
- 2001, we recover from this and are friends again.
- 2003, he knew I liked him, but after summer talked constantly of another girl.
- 2004 - We end up together again after a progressive friendship.
- End of 2004, he leaves me when we go to a new school (even though we went to the same new school) and immediately goes out with another girl and completely disowns me. Just before leaving me, after returning from holiday, instead of meeting me he goes out for the day with another girl... So we break up.
- We still have one subject we both take, but I made new friends and stayed away from him. We talked less and less, but at the beginning of this year, he was making moves and hints on MSN that he would like me back. I told him it wouldn't work - the first time I properly stood up to him and he didn't like it.

This Week
- He told lies over the past 2 weeks about stupid things. I let him believe what he liked, then reminded him I wouldn't go out with him again and we should stay friends.
- We were talking fine, but then I find out for definate he lied about things recently. I was annoyed but didn't mention it. However, he commented if I couldn't do simple things, what could I do, and women fail at multitasking etc.etc. Well, I was annoyed so I turned on him and said about men and lying. And from there we just got into a bigger and bigger argument.
I was crueller to him than I'd ever been, but he equalled it. The last thing he said, on MSN, was quotes from his mates that I won't repeat, but they were threatening violence and calling me names. Then he made his own comment that that's where we all stood, and copied one of his mates quotes before blocking me on MSN.

I stood up to him and knocked him down about everything because I felt like he thought he could just pick me up and drop me whenever he liked, and didn't need to consider anyone's feelings. I wasn't perfect through all of this, I could be difficult, and I share blame for many of things we argued about.
I know it's all so pointless, but was I right to have said anything back to him at all? I realise if I'd shown more self control, I could prevent it. I have to work with a mate of his next lesson, and if the guy himself also turns up, he's going to be with us as well. :S

What have I done?? And indeed, what am I going to do now?

[Heather@Amnezia]

Just ignore him, say nothing to him and act as though his presence doesn't bother you, which it shouldn't. I don't see how you are in the wrong, he messed you around and wasted your time and then was horrible to you in MSN. Not your fault at all. Be the bigger person and act as yourself, maybe even smile or say hello, let him see that you don't care about it and that it had no effect on you what so ever.

[{~*LauraFrog*~}]

Maybe it isn't too late to save your friendship. Just act nice. You were in the right as much as he was, and you were in the wrong as much as he was, but because he started it, I think you were definitely justified. Many of my friends have dumped me and then won me back. My rule is, the first time they dump me, I continue to act nice, and if they want me back I'm okay with that, if they dump me again, I ignore them and have nothing more to do with them. This guy has dumped you, like, three times, but maybe he's growing up and will start to get more mature. If this is the case, maybe you were meant for each other. If he's still just a silly little boy - go find yourself a boyfriend who won't dump you.